for you
the day we wed marked a lifetime of loving
a lifetime of loving you
a lifetime of loving the world we would soon build together
to have and to hold for the rest of my life
but life has been cold without you for some time
for better or for worse, through ups and downs
it never gets easier
for the unacknowledged sentient to be around
dirt pools now, under your once red ruby nails
when you never liked the dirt, not even dusty rails
in sickness and in health
i watched your body waver
your soul soon followed
when you asked about me and your children like you didn’t know them
when i had to introduce myself to my own wife
when our children had to introduce themselves to their mother
you forgot my name
but i’ll never forget the flowers i left you
the blankets i tucked you in
the kisses i placed
the hands i held
the woman i loved
i learned to love you twice
and i’d do it over again if it meant i could spend another lifetime with you
everyone knew how much i loved you
i loved you more than life itself
but none of it meant anything
if i knew you weren’t going to spend it with me
your physical being left but your soul had done the same long before
but i love you and i say that actively
i love you
i will never stop loving you
i never have stopped loving you
our house is yours now
you leave soft footprints in the hardwood hallways
fingerprints on the walls
lipstick stains on the photos
i see you everywhere
in our children
in our grandchildren
in the pine that falls off the trees
in every painted sky
but it’s hard to deny
i miss you
when you’re not there
no matter how long
the sheets are still cold
they will always be cold
the vanity is bare
your jewelry gone
closet stripped of the style you once brought
but energy is never created
nor destroyed
but transferred
your energy lives on
in the lineage we’ve fostered
the stories we’ve written
the chapters we’ve opened
and the chapters we’ve closed
this isn’t goodbye
with us
it’s never been
but see you later
in another life
sometime soon
you’ll be my girl again